Ice Water

definitely indecisive

The latest craze with “my cat is all I care about” stemming from our selfish desire to portray emotion to something we claim with money and is “our own” after domestication yet flaunting our denial of emotions toward any other human being.

A way of saying “I hate everyone yet I want so badly to portray this to you so you know very clearly, I’m denying to myself that i’m craving human emotion. acceptance, love, sympathy. “

put that cat shirt back on the rack, boy.

— 1 day ago
i’ve loved you since i was sixteen, each day it grows wilder, more vividly in depth than before. you’re my absolute everything good and bad. i love you more than i could ever describe with any form of language, any distance as an example. you’re perfectly beautiful, you’re the best part of waking up each and every morning, trying to stay up late. i want everything good for you

i’ve loved you since i was sixteen, each day it grows wilder, more vividly in depth than before. you’re my absolute everything good and bad. i love you more than i could ever describe with any form of language, any distance as an example. you’re perfectly beautiful, you’re the best part of waking up each and every morning, trying to stay up late. i want everything good for you

— 1 day ago

continuing this before being away from civilization for three days working. i lost the power i gave to my jems. far from “my precioussssssssssss” but these used to at least help me feel confident. two days ago i asked why mason was crying and since he is 7 months old i answered it for him with “because i wiped your nose like 15 minutes ago? let it go” and something that simple made me realize i hold on to so much. not only shame and guilt from last year, but from childhood and am frequently trying to correct situations or come up with the perfect comeback like to some ass hole comment from middle school. saying let go is so simple, but actually doing it with so much changing is hard because i have no clue what to actually hold onto. how do i let go of everything and still be an ideal worker, son’s girlfriend, daughter, and friend? and maybe that’s what i’m learning is that the little helpful “things to learn in your twenties” is right, as well as my acid induced quotes ontop of grandmother oak from two years ago. everything is always changing, hold onto nothing. i just want to think i have substance, but i’m allowing myself to rot in the process.

— 2 weeks ago
#indecisivepoetry 

Vocalizing through typed words how incredibly low I feel. As though I walk through life with some fantasized idea of what it means, I have no clue what good I am. I make conversation with nothing and no longer make eye contact, feeling my body begin to feel faint and urging to exit as quick as possible, for no particular reason other than I truly think life is nothing important, we’re all denying that we’re destroying the plant and all other species for selfish reasoning. And yet again, that there are no ears willing to listen and help. At 16 I believed j was strong, I had everything figured out and I hate that I’ve dropped so low, not even seeing the nearest point to escape this ocean. I’m scrutinizing every action I do and don’t do, and that of everything around me. While I’d like to feel happy I just don’t see the point in such a useless fucking rotation

— 2 weeks ago

I’m able to transform you into a giant statue in my mind. A beautiful portrait of something you never were.

— 2 weeks ago
lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

I’m curios if anyone even realizes they’re quoting touched amore!! :) love

lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

I’m curios if anyone even realizes they’re quoting touched amore!! :) love

— 1 month ago with 4381 notes

this neighborhood has lost it’s shit, arcata. from the woman who yell-sings strange Jamaican and pop songs what seems like every day now, the garbage company who comes three times a week only to the trashcans for our neighbors right by our bedroom screen door around 8, the gardeners who weed whack  and mow the lawn before 9 am, and the new neighbors who somehow managed to shake my walls until 2 am last night though we only share the garage wall??? Said gardeners who move all of our new plants, without a note or anything stating why, then bury our kale? i get harvest season is around the corner, but humboldt please fucking get your shit together.

you leave me indecisive and a very sleepy, annoyed, grump.

yours truly

A

— 1 month ago